Miscellaneous Numbered Quotations

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The quotations



%1001
     Any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic.
             CLARKE'S THIRD LAW
%1002
     Everything should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1003
     There ain't no sense worrying about what you can control, because
     if you can control it, there ain't no sense worrying about it, and
     there ain't no sense worrying about what you can't control, because
     if you can't control it, there ain't no sense worrying about it.
             MICKEY RIVERS
%1004
     We have met the enemy, and they is us.
             POGO (WALT KELLY)
%1005
     If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
             JIMMY BUFFET
%1006
     I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
             JOHN LENNON
%1007
     A little patience goes a long way.
 
     Too much patience goes nowhere.
             ANONYMOUS
%1008
     It is better to laugh about your problems than to cry about them.
             OLD JEWISH PROVERB
%1009
     Nothing is foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
             ANONYMOUS
%1010
     It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations,
     if you live near him.
             J.R.R. TOLKIEN
%1011
     A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell
     in such a way that you'll look forward to the trip.
             ANONYMOUS
%1012
     Behold the turtle, he makes progress only when his neck is out.
             DR. JAMES B. CONANT, HARVARD UNIV. PRESIDENT
%1013
     Don't claim that you know everything-
     besides not being true,
     it's very irritating
     to those of us who do.
             ANONYMOUS
%1014
     We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.
             ANONYMOUS
%1015
     I've got to start acting more sensible--TOMORROW!
             SNOOPY (CHARLES SCHULTZ)
%1016
     There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
             MESKIMEN'S LAW
%1017
     I'm sick and tired of this machine,
     I wish that they would sell it.
     It never does just what I want,
     But only what I tell it.
             ANONYMOUS
%1018
     Before I started working here I drank, smoked, and used foul language
     for no reason at all.  But thanks to this job, I now have a reason.
             ANONYMOUS
%1019
     Practice does not make perfect;
     perfect practice makes perfect.
             VINCE LOMBARDI
%1020
     Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
             ANONYMOUS
%1021
     Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes.
             J.R.R. TOLKIEN
%1022
     Alas, "should" is not "would".
             ANONYMOUS
%1023
     The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to log off or run the program.
             ANONYMOUS
%1024
     Scientists study the world as it is,
     engineers create the world that never has been.
             THEODORE VON KARMAN
%1025
     Chance favors only the prepared mind.
             LOUIS PASTEUR
%1026
     Everybody is ignorant, only in different subjects.
             WILL ROGERS
%1027
     To think is to differ.
             CLARENCE DARROW
%1028
     Imagination is more important than knowledge.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1029
     An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously.
             CHARLES F. KETTERING
%1030
     Common sense is not so common.
             VOLTAIRE
%1031
     Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
             ANONYMOUS
%1032
     You can observe a lot just by watching.
             YOGI BERRA
%1033
     I am a great believer in luck.
     The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have.
             COLEMAN COX
%1034
     Some things have to be believed to be seen.
             RALPH HODGSON
%1035
     There are no foolish questions, and no man has become a fool
     until he stops asking questions.
             CHARLES P. STEINMETZ
%1036
     Seek simplicity, and distrust it.
             ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD
%1037
     Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things
     that escape those who dream only at night.
             EDGAR ALLAN POE
%1038
     It is better to wear out than to rust out.
             BISHOP RICHARD CUMBERLAND
%1039
     There are two kinds of failures:  the man who will do
     nothing he is told, and the man who will do nothing else.
             PERLE THOMPSON
%1040
     Don't look back.  Something might be gaining on you.
             SATCHEL PAIGE
%1041
     What is a weed?  A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1042
     A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one.
     He would have to ask an engineer to do it for him.
             GORDON L. GLEGG
%1043
     A great many people think they are thinking
     when they are really rearranging their prejudices.
             EDWARD R. MURROW
%1044
     An engineer is an unordinary person who can do for one dollar
     what any ordinary person can do for two dollars.
             ANONYMOUS
%1045
     Use logic to decide between alternatives, not to initiate them.
             ANONYMOUS
%1046
     Statistics are no substitute for judgement.
             HENRY CLAY
%1047
     Short words are best and the old words when short are best of all.
             SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1048
     He who will not reason, is a bigot;
     He who cannot, is a fool;
     And he who dares not, is a slave.
             WILLIAM DRUMMOND
%1049
     Money is a stupid measurement of achievement but
     unfortunately it is the only universal measurement we have.
             CHARLES P. STEINMETZ
%1050
     I think that I shall never see
     A billboard lovely as a tree.
     Indeed, unless the billboard falls,
     I'll never see a tree at all.
             OGDEN NASH
%1051
     The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow
     is uneducated the day after.
             NEWTON D. BAKER
%1052
     Education is what you have left over after
     you have forgotten everything you have learned.
             ANONYMOUS
%1053
     A child is highly creative
     until he starts to school.
             STANLEY CZURLES
%1054
     The test of tolerance comes when we are in a majority;
     The test of courage comes when we are in a minority.
             RALPH W. STOCKMAN
%1055
     "I must do something" will always solve more problems
     than "something must be done".
             ANONYMOUS
%1056
     .......but the breadboard worked
             ANONYMOUS CUSTOMER
 
     .......but your salesman said...........
             ANONYMOUS CUSTOMER
%1057
     O sibili si ergo
     Fortibusis in ero
     Nobili demis trux
     Sevatis enim
     Cousendux
             ANONYMOUS
%1058
     Although a wise man might urge that one suffer fools gladly, this
     should not be construed as a license for any fool to demand that one do so.
             FREDRICK WILLIAM KANTOR
%1059
     Knowledge is the only instrument of production
     that is not subject to diminishing returns.
             J.M. CLARKE
%1060
     When you lose your power to laugh,
     you lose your power to think straight.
             JEROME LAWRENCE & ROBERT E. LEE
%1061
     The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone:
     the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1062
     Common sense is that layer of prejudices
     which we acquire before we are sixteen.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1063
     Science is nothing but developed perception,
     interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated.
             GEORGE SANTAYANA
%1064
     If we do not permit the earth to produce beauty and joy,
     it will not produce food either.
             JOSEPH WOOD KRUTCH
%1065
     Order and creativity are complimentary.
             LEWIS MUMFORD
%1066
     No doubt equality of goods is just; but, being unable to cause might to obey
     justice, men have made it just to obey might.  Unable to strengthen justice,
     they have justified might; so that the just and the strong might unite,
     and there would be peace, which is the sovereign good.
             PASCAL
%1067
     One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
     No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
             ELBERT HUBBARD
%1068
     Nothing is more terrible than activity without insight.
             THOMAS CARLYLE
%1069
     The important thing is never to stop questioning.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1070
     When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible,
     he is almost certainly right.  When he states that something is impossible,
     he is most probably wrong.
             CLARKE'S FIRST LAW
%1071
     The feeble minded are people who know the truth, but only affirm it as
     consistent with their own interests.  Apart from that, they denounce it.
             PASCAL
%1072
     There is no one cause more mysterious than another, if we look into it.
             LEIGH HUNT
%1073
     A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
             SAMUEL BUTLER
%1074
     The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
     He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder
     and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1075
     The great political tugs of the past 35 years
     have concerned the distribution of the golden eggs.
     In the 1980's and 1990's we must focus on the health of the goose.
             PAUL TSONGAS
%1076
     Morality is simply the attitude we adopt to people we personally dislike.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1077
     How wonderful that we have met with a paradox.
     Now we have some hope of making progress.
             NIELS BOHR
%1078
     Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.
             G.K. CHESTERTON
%1079
     He who knows nothing, loves nothing.
     He who can do nothing understands nothing.
     He who understands nothing is worthless.
             PARACELSUS
%1080
     There are two ways to slide easily through life;
     to believe everything or to doubt everything.  Both ways save us from thinking.
             ALFRED KORZYBSKI
%1081
     Cream rises to the top.  So does fat.
             KELVIN THROOP III
%1082
     Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
             W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM
%1083
     Yes quaint and curious war is,
     You shoot a fellow down;
     You'd treat if met where any bar is
     Or help to half a crown.
             ?
%1084
     Here lies a toppled god;
     His fall was not a small one.
     We did but build his pedestal--
     A narrow and a tall one.
             TLEILAXU EPIGRAM
             FRANK HERBERT, "DUNE MESSIAH"
%1085
     What does it avail a man to gain a fortune and lose his soul?
             JIMMY MESSINA, from the Bible
%1086
     Sometimes work comes from inspiration,
     but more often inspiration comes from work.
             ANONYMOUS
%1087
     Everyone must believe in something.  I believe I'll have another drink.
             W.C. FIELDS
%1088
     The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member
     of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others.
     His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant.
             JOHN STUART MILL, "ON LIBERTY"
%1089
     But let your communications be Yea,yea; nay,nay: for
     whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
             MATTHEW 5:37
%1090
     The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.
             BENJAMIN DISRAELI
%1091
     Parties who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool
     in the middle of a field in hope that the cow will back up to them.
             ELBERT HUBBARD
%1092
     We shape our buildings, and forever afterwards our buildings shape us.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1093
     We don't inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
             DAVID BROWER
%1094
     The world is very different now.  For man holds in his
     mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty...
             JOHN F. KENNEDY
%1095
     All good things which exist are the fruits of originality.
             JOHN STUART MILL
%1096
     Greater than the tread of mighty armies is the idea whose time has come.
             VICTOR HUGO
%1097
     Creativity is the art of taking a fresh look at old knowledge.
             ANONYMOUS
%1098
     Important ideas are those that lie within the allowable scope of nature's laws.
             ANONYMOUS
%1099
     Our doubts are traitors and make us lose
     the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
             WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
%1100
     Observation, not age, brings wisdom.
             ANONYMOUS
%1101
     The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
             PLUTARCH
%1102
     The probability is that tomorrow will not be an extrapolation of today.
             ERNEST C. ARBUCKLE
%1103
     You may not, cannot, appropriate beauty.
     It is the wealth of the eye, and a cat may gaze upon the king.
             THEODORE PARKER
%1104
     Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
     abstains from giving words in evidence of the fact.
             GEORGE ELLIOT
%1105
     A little experience often upsets a lot of theory.
             CADMAN
%1106
     Money never starts an idea; it is the idea that starts the money.
             W.J. CAMERON
%1107
     The highest use of capital is not to make more money,
     but to make money do more for the betterment of life.
             HENRY FORD
%1108
     If an army of monkeys were strumming on typewriters,
     they MIGHT write all the books in the British museum.
             SIR ARTHUR EDDINGTON
%1109
     Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea
     hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it.
             ANONYMOUS
%1110
     The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
             DOUG LARSON
%1111
     If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
             ABRAHAM MASLOW
%1112
     Every adult needs a child to teach;
     it's the way adults learn.
             FRANK A. CLARK
%1113
     The hours that make us happy make us wise.
             JOHN MASEFIELD
%1114
     Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.
             A.A. LATIMER
%1115
     Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
             VICTOR HUGO
%1116
     The man who insists on seeing with perfect clearness before he decides,
     never decides.
             HENRI FREDRIC AMIEL
%1117
     By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
             VOLTAIRE
%1118
     One of the advantages of being disorderly is
     that one is constantly making new discoveries.
             A. A. MILNE
%1119
     It is not doing the thing we like to do,
     but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.
             GOETHE
%1120
     When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
             MARK TWAIN
%1121
     School is a building that has four walls-
     with tomorrow inside.
             LON WATTERS
%1122
     I believe that genius is an infinite capacity
     for taking life by the scruff of the neck.
             CHRISTOPHER QUILL
%1123
     In the long run the pessimist may be right,
     but the optimist has a better time on the trip.
             DANIEL L. REARDON
%1124
     Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
             TOM STOPPARD
%1125
     The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.
             MARK VAN DOREN
%1126
     Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
             MAE WEST
%1127
     Originality is the art of concealing your source.
             FRANKLIN P. JONES
%1128
     On the whole, human beings want to be good,
     but not too good, and not quite all the time.
             GEORGE ORWELL
%1129
     It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
             WODDY ALLEN
%1130
     In matters of principal, stand like a rock,
     in matters of taste, swim with the current.
             THOMAS JEFFERSON
%1131
     If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, "You are wrong."
     This method works every time.
             HENRY C. LINK
%1132
     Success is a journey, not a destination.
             BEN SWEETLAND
%1133
     In the pursuit of happiness,
     the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up.
             R.H. GRENVILLE
%1134
     The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly
     is to fill the world with fools.
             HERBERT SPENCER
%1135
     'Tis the mark of an instructed mind to rest assured
     with that degree of precision that the nature of the subject admits,
     and not to seek exactness when only an approximation of the truth is possible.
             ARISTOTLE
%1136
     It's like deja-vu, all over again.
             YOGI BERRA
%1137
     Thousands of engineers can design bridges.....,but the great
     engineer is the man who can tell whether the bridge.....should be built at all.
             EUGENE C. GRACE
%1138
     We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them.
             TITUS LIVIUS
%1139
     It's amazing what ordinary people can do
     if they set out without preconceived notions.
             CHARLES F. KETTERING
%1140
     Habit is a cable;
     we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it.
             HORACE MANN
%1141
     Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.
             MICHELANGELO
%1142
     Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward;
     they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.
             GOETHE
%1143
     If you want to kill an idea, assign it to a committee for study.
             ANONYMOUS
%1144
     Nature never deceives us; it is always we who deceive ourselves.
             JEAN JAQUES ROUSEAU
%1145
     The engineer's first problem in any design situation
     is to discover what the problem really is.
             ANONYMOUS
%1146
     We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts.
             JOHN DEWEY
%1147
     Watch your step when you immediately know the one way to do anything.
     Nine times out of ten, there are several better ways.
             W. B. GIVENS, JR.
%1148
     Whatever one man is capable of conceiving, other men will be able to achieve.
             JULES VERNE
%1149
     Originality is just a fresh pair of eyes.
             W. WILSON
%1150
     Mathematics is the queen of the sciences.
             CARL FRIEDRICH GAUSS
%1151
     Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.
             JAMES THURBER
%1152
     Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1153
     There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of
     goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible.
             HENRY FORD
%1154
     In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most,
     it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing.
             OWEN D. YOUNG
%1155
     It is a socialist idea that making profits is a vice.
     I consider the real vice is making losses.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1156
     Aluminum was once a precious metal.
             JULES VERNE
%1157
     One of the cheapest ways to design something is not to design it at all.
             GORDON L. GLEGG
%1158
     The world is divided into people who do things as they are,
     and those who do things as they ought to be.
             STOWE
%1159
     Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk.
             JOAQUIN de SETANTI
%1160
     The difficulty in life is the choice.
             GEORGE MOORE
%1161
     It's got to be the goin',
     Not the gettin' there that's good.
             HARRY CHAPIN
%1162
     A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself.
             NIELS BOHR
%1163
     Better is the enemy of good enough.
             ANONYMOUS
%1164
     The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again.
             ANONYMOUS
%1165
     Hope: Mistaking desire for probability.
             ANONYMOUS
%1166
     Most of the change we think we see in life
     is due to truths being in and out of favor.
             ROBERT FROST, "THE BLACK COTTAGE"
%1167
     For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
             KELVIN THROOP III
%1168
     I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand,
     as in what direction we are moving; To reach the port of heaven, we must sail
     sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it--but we must sail, and not
     drift, nor lie at anchor.
             OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
%1169
     Witchcraft always has a hard time,
     until it becomes respectable and changes its name.
             CHARLES FORT
%1170
     The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1171
     Indifference is isolation.  In difference is texture and wonder.
             EDWIN SCHLOSSBERG
%1172
     The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.
             HENRI BERGSON
%1173
     If the lesser mind could measure the greater as a footrule
     can measure a pyramid, there would be finality in universal suffrage.
     As it is, the political problem remains unsolved.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1174
     Change is one thing, progress is another.
     "Change" is scientific, "progress" is ethical;
     change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.
             BERTRAND RUSSEL, "UNPOPULAR ESSAYS"
%1175
     A strong conviction that something must be done
     is the parent of many bad measures.
             DANIEL WEBSTER
%1176
     Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.
             HENRI BERGSON
%1177
     There is no such thing as a functional illiterate.
             KELVIN THROOP
%1178
     Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
             G.K. CHESTERTON
%1179
     The real world is not user-friendly.
             KELVIN THROOP
%1180
     Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1181
     Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backward.
             KIERKEGAARD
%1182
     It's what you learn after you think you know it all that counts.
             EARL WEAVER
%1183
     The aim of education is the wise use of leisure.
             ARISTOTLE
%1184
     Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs,
     even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor
     spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in
     the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.
             THEODORE ROOSEVELT
%1185
     Liberty means responsibility.  That is why most men dread it.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1186
     To stimulate creativity, one must develop the childlike inclination
     for play and the childlike desire for recognition.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1187
     In matters of belief, he who is absolutely sure he is right
     is almost certainly dead wrong.
             KELVIN THROOP
%1188
     More persons on the whole are humbugged
     by believing nothing than by believing too much.
             PHINEAS T. BARNUM
%1189
     The Earth is the cradle of human civilization,
     but one cannot live in the cradle forever.
             KONSTANTIN TSIOLKOVSKII
%1190
     Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
             HONORE' de BALZAC
%1191
     Until now, I had never realized what beauty water adds to a river.
             MARK TWAIN, ON ALBUQUIRQUE
%1192
     You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?
             STEPHEN WRIGHT
%1193
     Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
     as when they do it from religious convictions.
             PASCAL
%1194
     Blaming "society" makes it awfully easy for a person of weak character
     to shrug off his own responsibility for his actions.
             STANLEY SCHMIDT
%1195
     Ultimately what's most lasting are those intimate moments that are so fleeting.
     Those magical, mystical moments where a man leaves himself and becomes one with
     another person.  There is no witness except the person you shared it with--
     a woman, a child, another man.  I think if you stacked all those tender moments
     head to head, if you get out of life with 27 minutes like that, you're probably
     way ahead.
             LEE MARVIN
%1196
     Success is what people settle for when they can't
     think of anything noble enough to be worth failing at.
             LAURENCE SHAMES
%1197
     All women grow up to be like their mothers.
     That is their tragedy.  No men do.  That is theirs.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1198
     The only difference between the fool and the criminal who attacks a system
     is that the fool attacks more unpredictably and on a broader front.
             GUMMIGES LAWS OF COMPUTING
%1199
     As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain;
     and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1200
     Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities.
     The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly
     submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his
     intelligence.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1201
     For every complex problem, there is a solution that's
     simple, straightforward -- and wrong.
             H.L. MENCKEN
%1202
     It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
             GRACE HOPPER
%1203
     If it's never finished, you can't prove it doesn't work.
             JEFF BROWN, ARGOSYSTEMS
%1204
     Never leave an enemy behind or it will rise again to fly at your throat.
             SHAKA ZULU
%1205
     I hold that man is in the right who is most closely in league with the future.
             HEINRIK IBSEN
%1206
     There is a tide in the affairs of men which taken at the flood
     leads on to fortune.
             WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
%1207
     When the doors of perception are cleansed,
     man will see things as they truly are, infinite.
             WILLIAM BLAKE
%1208
     Cogito ergo sum.
             DESCARTE
%1209
     When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember
     that your objective was to drain the swamp.
             ANONYMOUS
%1210
     Nature has given man one tongue and two ears,
     that we may hear twice as much as we speak.
             EPICTETUS
%1211
     Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts
     when you have forgotten your aim.
             GEORGE SANTAYANA
%1212
     The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1213
     It is better to debate a question without settling it
     than to settle a question without debating it.
             JOSEPH JOUBERT
%1214
     There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.
             BENJAMIN DISRAELI
%1215
     As you believe, so it is for you.
             RICHARD BACH
%1216
     No man's life, liberty, or property are safe
     while the legislature is in session.
             JUDGE GIDEON J. TUCKER
%1217
     I can resist anything, except temptation.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1218
     If I traveled to the end of the rainbow
     As Dame Fortune did intend,
     Murphy would be there to tell me
     The pot's at the other end.
             BERT WHITNEY
%1219
     A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
     and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
             MARK TWAIN
%1220
     Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the
     incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1221
     I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
             BILL HOEST
%1222
     Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
             TROTSKY
%1223
     Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority,
     it is time to reform.
             MARK TWAIN
%1224
     Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence...
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1225
     Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity,
     and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
             JOSEPH HELLER
%1226
     Justice is incidental to law and order.
             J. EDGAR HOOVER
%1227
     I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
             JOE WALSH
%1228
     Companies should spend money keeping ahead of the competition, not suing it.
             JON TITUS
%1229
     Diplomacy -- the art of saying "Nice doggy" until you can find a stick.
             WYNN CATLIN
%1230
     Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain
     of being a damned fool.
             BELLAMY BROOKS
%1231
     Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
             CHARLIE MCCARTHY
%1232
     Hindsight is an exact science.
             ANONYMOUS
%1233
     A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into
     superstition, and art into pedantry.  Hence University education.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1234
     It is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity;
     and it's a pretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight
     into the sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their colour.
             VOLTAIRE
%1235
     Now and then an innocent person is sent to the legislature.
             ANONYMOUS
%1236
     Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.
             H.L. MENCKEN
%1237
     Yesterday I was a dog.  Today I'm a dog.  Tomorrow I'll probably still
     be a dog.  **   There's so little hope for advancement.
             SNOOPY (CHARLES SCHULTZ)
%1238
     The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1239
     Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President
     should on no account be allowed to do the job.
             THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
%1240
     Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
             W.C. FIELDS
%1241
     If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
             ART HOPPE
%1242
     Enough research will tend to support your theory.
             MURPHY'S LAW OF RESEARCH
%1243
     Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
     And that's what parents were created for.
             OGDEN NASH
%1244
     POLITICIAN:  From the Greek 'poly' ("many") and the French 'tete'
     ("head" or "face," as in 'tete-a-tete': head to head or face to face).
     Hence 'polytetien', a person of two or more faces.
             MARTIN PITT
%1245
     Hell is a city much like London--A populous and smoky city.
             PERCY BYSSHE SHELLY, 1819
%1246
     The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1247
     Iron rusts from disuse; water loses its purity from stagnation and in cold
     weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind.
             LEONARDO DA VINCI
%1248
     Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather than constricts it.
             ANONYMOUS
%1249
     In nature's infinite book of secrecy
     A little I can read.
             WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
%1250
     Beauty, like supreme dominion,
     Is but supported by opinion.
             BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, POOR RICHARD'S ALMANAC, 1741
%1251
     Only fools and dead men don't change their minds.
     Fools won't.  Dead men can't.
             JOHN H. PATTERSON
%1252
     Great is the art of beginning, but greater the art of ending...
             HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
%1253
     Men are more apt to be mistaken in their generalizations
     than in their particular observations.
             MACHIAVELLI
%1254
     Everyone complains of his memory, but no one complains of his judgement.
             DUC DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD
%1255
     The justification of private profit is private risk.
             FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
%1256
     Many times an economical design with a predictable life is superior
     to an expensive design with an indefinite life...
             GORDON L. GLEGG
%1257
     The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular.
             EDWARD GIBBON
%1258
     Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their
     hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot separately
     plunder a third.
             BIERCE
%1259
     Justice: A decision in your favor.
             ANONYMOUS
%1260
     You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
             ANONYMOUS
%1261
     It is bad luck to be superstitious.
             ANDREW W. MATHIS
%1262
     Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
     It is because we are not the person involved.
             MARK TWAIN
%1263
     Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
             MARK TWAIN
%1264
     Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what
     is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
             JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH
%1265
     Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
             GROUCHO MARX
%1266
     Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
             ERIC HOFFER
%1267
     A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention,
     and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
             AMBROSE BIERCE
%1268
     Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
             HANLON'S RAZOR
%1269
     Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
             LILY TOMLIN
%1270
     Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud
     what the country could do under first-class management.
             SENATOR SOAPER
%1271
     An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
             VAN ROY'S LAW
%1272
     To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
             WOODY ALLEN
%1273
     He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
             JOHN STUART MILL
%1274
     Genius might be described as a supreme capacity
     for getting it's possessors into trouble of all kinds.
             SAMUEL BUTLER
%1275
     Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
             CULLEN HIGHTOWER
%1276
     What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum
     for want of courage to shake the tree?
             LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH
%1277
     A stepping-stone can be a stumbling block
     if we can't see it until after we have tripped over it.
             CULLEN HIGHTOWER
%1278
     The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor,
     to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
             ANATOLE FRANCE
%1279
     No object is mysterious.  The mystery is in your eye.
             ELIZABETH BOWEN
%1280
     Beware of the man of one book.
             ST. THOMAS AQUINAS
%1281
     We changed with the times, so we can't blame the children
     for just joining the times without even having to change.
             WILL ROGERS
%1282
     He who beats his sword into a plowshare usually ends up
     plowing for those who kept their swords.
             ANONYMOUS
%1283
     I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that
     criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.
             HAROLD MACMILLAN
%1284
     Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
             H.L. MENCKEN
%1285
     A failure is not always a mistake; it may simply be the
     best one can do under the circumstances.  The real mistake is to stop trying.
             B.F. SKINNER
%1286
     The endeavor to understand is the first and only basis of virtue.
             BARUCH SPINOZA
%1287
     Science is always simple and always profound.
     It is only the half-truths that are dangerous.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1288
     We keep, in science, getting a more and more sophisticated view
     of our essential ignorance.
             WARREN WEAVER
%1289
     To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream,
     not only plan but also believe.
             ANATOLE FRANCE
%1290
     We sometimes get all the information, but we refuse to get the message.
             CULLEN HIGHTOWER
%1291
     Modern science has imposed on humanity the necessity for wandering.
             ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD
%1292
     Science has made gods of us before we were even worthy of being men.
             JEAN ROSTAND
%1293
     If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.
             JOHN GALSWORTHY
%1294
     You can't depend on your judgement when your imagination is out of focus.
             MARK TWAIN
%1295
     Sometimes I think we're alone.  Sometimes I think we're not.
     In either case, the thought is quite staggering.
             R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER
%1296
     Though many have tried, no one has ever yet explained away the decisive fact
     that science, which can do so much, cannot decide what it ought to do.
             JOSEPH WOOD KRUCH
%1297
     Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes.
             WALT WHITMAN
%1298
     Space is to place what eternity is to time.
             JOSEPH JOUBERT
%1299
     The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with truths for which
     Archimedes would have sacrificed his life.
             ERNEST RENAN
%1300
     Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.
             MARK TWAIN
%1301
     If you chose to dance with a bear, don't stop when you get tired.
             OLD RUSSIAN PROVERB
%1302
     Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
     but it's very funny--Did you ever try buying then without money?
             OGDEN NASH
%1303
     In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last
     resort of the scoundrel.  With all due respect to an enlightened but
     inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
             AMBROSE BIERCE
%1304
     If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself
     as part of the problem.
             DUCHARM'S AXIOM
%1305
     A university is what a college becomes
     when the faculty loses interest in students.
             JOHN CIARDI
%1306
     The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more
     annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1307
     The superfluous is very necessary.
             VOLTAIRE
%1308
     Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
             JULES DE GAULTIER
%1309
     I'm too tired to distinguish truth from reality.
             KEN HERRITY
%1310
     Idiot, n.:
     A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
     affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1311
     A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
     and nobody wants to read.
             MARK TWAIN
%1312
     Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
             ANONYMOUS
%1313
     He who Laughs, Lasts.
             ANONYMOUS
%1314
     Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
             ANONYMOUS
%1315
     If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some
     memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin'
     it, even if they don't know what it means.
             WALT KELLY
%1316
     Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out if it alive.
             ANONYMOUS
%1317
     Murphy's Law is recursive.  Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
             ANONYMOUS
%1318
     It's not the size of the dog in the fight that counts,
     but rather the size of the fight in the dog.
             DWIGHT EISENHOWER
%1319
     It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that
     virginity could be a virtue.
             VOLTAIRE
%1320
     "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and
     if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  That's logic!"
             LEWIS CARROLL
%1321
     Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper
     when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1322
     I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
             ANONYMOUS
%1323
     You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
             ANONYMOUS
%1324
     Every successful person has had failures
     but repeated failure is no guarantee of eventual success.
             ANONYMOUS
%1325
     Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from,
     but not well enough to lend to.
             AMBROSE BIERCE
%1326
     Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
             ANONYMOUS
%1327
     A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
             HERBERT PROCHNOW
%1328
     'n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same
     time as 'n' tasks.
             GRAY'S LAW OF PROGRAMMING
 
     'n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as 'n' trivial tasks.
             LOGG'S REBUTTAL TO GRAY'S LAW
%1329
     Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
             PARKER'S LAW
%1330
     You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.
             NAESER'S LAW
%1331
     People who have what they want are very fond
     of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.
             OGDEN NASH
%1332
     Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
             VOLTAIRE
%1333
     Ninety percent of everything is crud.
             STURGEON'S LAW
%1334
     Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1335
     Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
     "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
             AMBROSE BIERCE
%1336
     Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
             RULE OF DEFACTUALIZATION
%1337
     The advancement of the arts, from year to year, taxes our credulity and
     seems to presage the arrival of that period when human improvement must end.
             HENRY ELSWORTH, US PATENT OFFICE, 1844
%1338
     Don't be afraid to ask dumb questions.
     They're a lot easier to deal with than dumb mistakes.
             ANONYMOUS
%1339
     A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.
             ANONYMOUS
%1340
     If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to
     live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success in common hours.
             HENRY DAVID THOREAU
%1341
     Every engineer should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.
             RONAN CULLEN
%1342
     The pessimist complains about the wind;
     The optimist expects it to change;
     The realist adjusts the sails.
             WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD
%1343
     A faith-holder puts himself below his faith and lets it guide his actions.
     The fanatic puts himself above it and uses it as an excuse for his actions.
             GORDON DICKSON, "CHANTRY GUILD"
%1344
     It's not whether you win or loose, it's how you lay the blame.
             ANONYMOUS
%1345
     If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
     This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
             MARK TWAIN
%1346
     Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
             OLIVER'S LAW
%1347
     1)  When in charge, ponder.
     2)  When in trouble, delegate.
     3)  When in doubt, mumble.
             BOREN'S LAWS
%1348
     1.  Never be first.
     2.  Never be last.
     3.  Never volunteer for anything.
             LACKLAND'S LAWS
%1349
     Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the
     time he will pick himself up and continue on.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1350
     Sales: Mistaking desire for profitability.
             SIMON FAVRE
%1351
     The morning sun may kiss the grass,
     The clock may kiss the hours that pass,
     The flowing wine may kiss the glass,
     And you, my friends --- drink hearty!
             ANONYMOUS
%1352
     Because it's there!
             GEORGE MOWRY, ON WHY HE CLIMBED MOUNTAINS
%1353
     All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear
     and disregards the rest.
             PAUL SIMON
%1354
     There comes a time in every man's life at lease once,
     and I've had plenty of them.
             CASEY STENGLE
%1355
     When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched
     to everything else in the universe.
             JOHN MUIR
%1356
     Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
             WERNHER VON BRAUN
%1357
     Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to
     recognize a mistake when you make it again.
             F.P. JONES
%1358
     There is a theory that states: "If anyone finds out what the universe is for
     it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizaarly inexplicable."
 
     There is another theory that states: "This has already happened...."
             DOUGLAS ADAMS, "THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY"
%1359
     Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
             STEPHEN WRIGHT
%1360
     Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.
             JAVIER PASCUAL SALCEDO
%1361
     Critic: A person who boasts himself hard to please
     because nobody tries to please him.
             BIERCE
%1362
     America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism
     to decadence without touching civilization.
             JOHN O'HARA
%1363
     If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage.
     But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine,
     is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
             ANONYMOUS
%1364
     I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
             ANONYMOUS
%1365
     Behold the warranty...the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.
             ANONYMOUS
%1366
     The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity
     and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted
     activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy...neither
     its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
             ANONYMOUS
%1367
     Democracy is also a form of worship.
     It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
             H.L. MENCKEN
%1368
     About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
             HERBERT HOOVER
%1369
     The amount of work to be done increases in proportion
     to the amount of work already completed.
             VAIL'S SECOND AXIOM
%1370
     If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
             HARRY S TRUMAN
%1371
     There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1372
     Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every
     effort to teach them good manners.
             ANONYMOUS
%1373
     Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
             SIMON'S LAW
%1374
     If you take something apart, odds are you cannot get it back together again.
             SIMON'S COROLLARY
%1375
     Now is the time for all good men to come to.
             WALT KELLY
%1376
     Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.
             MARK TWAIN
%1377
     It is not enough to succeed.  Others must fail.
             GORE VIDAL
%1378
     No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
             ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
%1379
     Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it
     every six months.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1380
     After exhausting all other possibilities,
     Americans can be counted upon to do what is right.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1381
     We are in business to make money.
     Our problem is that the Japanese make money to be in business.
             GASCOYNE
%1382
     Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers
     something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
             BROOKE'S SECOND LAW
%1383
     We must remember the First Amendment, which protects any shrill jackass,
     no matter how self-seeking.
             F.G. WITHINGTON
%1384
     It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong
     than forgiveness for being right.
             ANONYMOUS
%1385
     Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
             WETHERN'S LAW
%1386
     The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd.
     The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever
     been.
             ALAN ASHLEY-PITT
%1387
     Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
             JOHN F. KENNEDY
%1388
     The nice thing about standards is
     that there are so many of them to choose from.
             ANDREW S. TANENBAUM
%1389
     The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science
     requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
             ROBERT HEINLEIN
%1390
     Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
             WOODY ALLEN
%1391
     There were but little work left for preaching,
     if law and compulsion should grow so fast upon those things
     which hithertofore were governed only by exhortation.
             JOHN MILTON
%1392
     The reason God was able to create the world in six days
     is that He didn't have to worry about the installed base.
             ANONYMOUS
%1393
     Hacker, oh Hacker,
     Where goest thy code?
     Far, far away,
     Flushed down the commode!
             FAVRE
%1394
     Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.
             HENRIK TIKKANEN
%1395
     If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
             DEREK BOK, PRESIDENT OF HARVARD
%1396
     He hadn't a single redeeming vice.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1397
     I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating.
             BOSS TWEED
%1398
     Innovation is hard to schedule.
             DAN FYLSTRA
%1399
     Every solution breeds new problems.
             ANONYMOUS
%1400
     If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
             JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH
%1401
     The problem with trying to keep everything a secret
     is that eventually you will succeed.
             JEN-HSUN HUANG
%1402
     Investment in security continues only until someone insists on getting
     some real work done.
             ANONYMOUS
%1403
     Science and technology are just tools.
     What they do FOR you is entirely dependant on what you do WITH them.
             STANELY SCHMIDT
%1404
     Prejudice: A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
             AMBROSE BIERCE
%1405
     I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1406
     Entropy isn't what it used to be.
             ANONYMOUS
%1407
     The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
             MARK TWAIN
%1408
     Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1409
     All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of
     every organism to live beyond its income.
             SAMUEL BUTLER
%1410
     I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
             MAE WEST
%1411
     One seldom sees a monument to a committee.
             ANONYMOUS
%1412
     Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can.
     Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
             EMERSONS' LAW OF CONTRARINESS
%1413
     Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
             BUCY'S LAW
%1414
     A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
     poor to protect them from each other.
             ANONYMOUS
%1415
     Practical people would be more practical
     if they would take a little more time for dreaming.
             J.P. MCEVOY
%1416
     Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1417
     Work expands to fill the time available.
             PARKINSON'S LAW
%1418
     The older I get, the better I used to be.
             ANONYMOUS (SEEN ON COFFEE MUG)
%1419
     Miss, n.: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that
     they are in the market.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1420
     I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
     with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
             GALILEO GALILEI
%1421
     I'd better get off the phone now,
     I've already told you more than I heard myself.
             LORETTA LOCKHORN
%1422
     You'll always find a tool in the last place you look.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1423
     If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times,
     you will eventually have two of them.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1424
     A carelessly planned homebuilding project takes three times longer than
     expected to complete, a carefully planned one takes only twice as long.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1425
     When the need arises, the tool or object closest to you becomes a hammer.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1426
     The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1427
     The first place to look for a dropped part
     is the last place you expect to find it.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1428
     A horizontal surface will soon be piled up.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1429
     If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1430
     There are two kinds of tape:
     The one that won't stay on, and the one that won't come off.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1431
     There are some things that are impossible to do,
     but it is impossible to know what they are.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1432
     No two identical parts are alike.
             COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW
%1433
     You can fool some of the people all of the time, and
     You can fool all of the people some of the time, but
     You can't fool mom.
             ANONYMOUS BUMPER STICKER
%1434
     You can pick your friends,
     And you can pick your nose,
     But you can't pick your friends' nose.
             ANONYMOUS
%1435
     We need to listen twice as much as we need to talk.
     That is why we have 2 ears and 1 mouth.
             ANONYMOUS
%1436
     Reputations are made by searching for things that can't be done and doing them.
             FRANK TYGER
%1437
     To teach is to learn twice.
             JOSEPH JOUBERT
%1438
     The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
             JOHN MCNULTY
%1439
     Your conscience never stops you from doing anything.
     It just stops you from enjoying it.
             ANONYMOUS
%1440
     They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
             ANONYMOUS
%1441
     Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
             PLATO
%1442
     Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
             ANDREW YOUNG
%1443
     The trouble with doing something right the first time is that
     nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
             ANONYMOUS
%1444
     Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
             AESOP
%1445
     Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
             SNOOPY
%1446
     The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
     Gives us ham and pork and Bacon.
     Let others think his heart is big,
     I think it stupid of the Pig.
             OGDEN NASH
%1447
     As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
             WEISERT
%1448
     Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good;
     and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
             DICK BRANDON
%1449
     Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
             MILTON FRIEDMAN
%1450
     In a hierarchy, each person rises to the level of his own incompetence.
             THE PETER PRINCIPLE
%1451
     If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
             ANONYMOUS
%1452
     I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
     There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work.
             GALLAGHER
%1453
     The chief cause of problems is solutions.
             ANONYMOUS
%1454
     Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
             DUCHARME'S PRECEPT
%1455
     You can't start worrying about what's going to happen.
     You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now.
             LAUREN BACALL
%1456
     Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
             SALVOR HARDIN (ISSAC ASIMOV)
%1457
     I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
             MARK TWAIN
%1458
     If two men agree on everything,
     you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
             LYNDON BAINES JOHNSON
%1459
     When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.
     Now I'm beginning to believe it.
             CLARENCE DARROW
%1460
     Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
             MIGUEL DE CERVANTES
%1461
     No good deed goes unpunished.
             CLARE BOOTHE LUCE
%1462
     He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
             MARK TWAIN
%1463
     Absurdity, n.:
     A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1464
     Even if you do learn to speak correct English,
     whom are you going to speak it to?
             CLARENCE DARROW
%1465
     To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
             THOMAS EDISON
%1466
     I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
             GEORGE MCGOVERN
%1467
     As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.
     When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1468
     The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility.
     And vice versa.
             ANONYMOUS
%1469
     For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
             R. CLOPTON
%1470
     There are four kinds of homicide:
     felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy ...
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1471
     Technology is dominated by two types of people:
     Those who understand what they do not manage;
     Those who manage what they do not understand.
             PUTT'S LAW
%1472
     The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
     the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
     Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1473
     Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
             OGDEN NASH
%1474
     Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs.
             TOM WOLFE
%1475
     Don't confuse the water with the pump.
             TOM WOLFE
%1476
     Something there is that doesn't love a wall.
             ROBERT FROST, "MENDING WALL"
%1477
     The difference between intelligence and education is this:
     Intelligence will make you a good living.
             CHARLES F. KETTERING
%1478
     There are two kinds of statistics:
     The kind you look up and the kind you make up.
             REX STOUT
%1479
     I want to suggest to you today, that unless we have a tolerant attitude toward
     mistakes - I might almost say "a positive attitude toward them" - we shall be
     behaving irrationally, unscientifically, and unsuccessfully. Now, of course, if
     you now say to me, "Look here, you weird Limey, are you seriously advocating
     relaunching the Edsel?" I will reply, "No."  There are mistakes - and mistakes.
     There are true, copper-bottom mistakes like spelling the word "rabbit" with
     three Ms; wearing a black bra under a white shirt; or, to take a more masculine
     example, starting a land war in Asia.  These are the kind of mistakes described
     by Mr. David Letterman as Brushes With Stupidity, because they have no
     reasonable chance of success.
             JOHN CLEESE
%1480
     Faith, n: That quality which enables us to believe what we know to be untrue.
             BIERCE
%1481
     Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
             CHARLIE BROWN (CHARLES SCHULTZ)
%1482
     Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
             GROUCHO MARX
%1483
     Peace, n.:
     In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
             BIERCE
%1484
     Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
             BIERCE
%1485
     I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone,
     but they've always worked for me.
             HUNTER S. THOMPSON
%1486
     Absent, adj.:
     Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
             BIERCE
%1487
     Excess on occasion is exhilarating.
     It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
             W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM
%1488
     Documentation is the castor oil of programming.  Managers know it must
     be good because the programmers hate it so much.
             ANONYMOUS
%1489
     That secret you've been guarding, isn't.
             ANONYMOUS
%1490
     To ask permission is to seek denial.
             SCOTT MC NEALY
%1491
     All things are to be examined and called into question.
     There are no limits set on thought.
             ANONYMOUS
%1492
     There's nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things
     we don't know.
             BIERCE
%1493
     It isn't what people think that's important,
     but the reason they think what they think.
             EUGENE IONESCO
%1494
     Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
             MARK TWAIN
%1495
     When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane,
     most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear
     that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition
     continuously until death do them part.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1496
     It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
     incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
     twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
             R. SERLING
%1497
     It is the business of little minds to shrink.
             CARL SANDBURG
%1498
     The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be
     pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
             ELIZABETH TAYLOR
%1499
     Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
             ANONYMOUS
%1500
     Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
     Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
             RANDOM SHACK DATA PROCESSING DICTIONARY
%1501
     If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.
     They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
             THOMAS CARLYLE
%1502
     Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.
             LAZARUS LONG, "TIME ENOUGH FOR LOVE" (HEINLEIN)
%1503
     It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
             FRED ADLER
%1504
     So naturalists observe, a flea
     hath smaller fleas that on him prey;
     And these have smaller still to bite 'em;
     and so proceed ad infinitum.
             JONATHAN SWIFT
%1505
     I've never met a human being who would want to read 17,000 pages of documen-
     tation, and if there was, I'd kill him to get him out of the gene pool.
             JOSEPH COSTELLO, PRESIDENT OF CADENCE
%1506
     The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
             P.J. O'ROURKE
%1507
     Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
             INDIAN PROVERB
%1508
     In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence
     is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1509
     Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's
     supposed to do.
             HEINLEIN
%1510
     Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises
     shall be liable to a fine of one pound.
     Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.
             RULE 46, OXFORD UNION SOCIETY, LONDON
%1511
     Barometer, n.:
     An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1512
     Coward, n.:
     One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1513
     My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
             ABRAHAM LINCOLN
%1514
     Anyone can make a fortune.  It takes a genius to hold onto one.
             JAY GOULD
%1515
     Work and play are words to describe the same thing under different conditions.
             MARK TWAIN
%1516
     If you want to know what a man is really like,
     take notice how he acts when he looses money.
             NEW ENGLAND PROVERB
%1517
     Men of power have no time to read,
     yet the men who do not read are unfit for power.
             MICHAEL FOOT
%1518
     The reason why worry kills more people than work
     is that more people worry than work.
             ROBERT FROST
%1519
     What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
             URSULA K. LEGUIN
%1520
     Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
             SAMUEL GOLDWYN
%1521
     On the other hand, you have different fingers.
             STEPHEN WRIGHT
%1522
     Unemployment has gone from quantitative to qualitative.
             ALVIN TOFFLER
%1523
     Human capital has replaced dollar capital.
             MICHAEL MILKEN
%1524
     We were nearly one of the last to realize that in the age of
     information science the most expensive asset is knowledge.
             MIKHAIL GORBACHEV
%1525
     You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb himself.
             ANDREW CARNEGIE
%1526
     There exist limitless opportunities in every industry.
     Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.
             CHARLES F. KETTERING
%1527
     Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
             MARK TWAIN
%1528
     Happiness is the result of discovering that you do not have to
     have what you want.
             JAMES FLEIBLEMAN
%1529
     Football combines two of the worst things about American life.
     It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
             GEORGE WILL
%1530
     In time of war, the first casualty is truth.
             HODDING CARTER
%1531
     Faith is an island in the setting sun
     But proof, yes proof is the bottom line for everyone.
             PAUL SIMON
%1532
     The field cannot be seen from within the field.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1533
     Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
             ANONYMOUS
%1534
     As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably because it's
     so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
             WOODY ALLEN
%1535
     Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.
             JONATHAN SWIFT
%1536
     Humankind cannot stand very much reality.
             T.S. ELLIOT
%1537
     Desk-top publishing: A system of software and hardware enabling users to
     create documents with a cornucopia of typefaces and graphics and the
     intellectual content of a Formica slab.
             STEPHEN MANES
%1538
     In peace, children bury their fathers.  In war, fathers bury their children.
             HERODOTUS
%1539
     Europe was created by history.  America was created by philosophy.
             MARGARET THATCHER
%1540
     Getting laid off is better than not getting laid at all.
             BRETT ISHAM
%1541
     Sports serve society by providing vivid examples of excellence.
             GEORGE WILL
%1542
     What we do not understand we do not possess.
             GOETHE
%1543
     I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
             JONATHAN WINTERS
%1544
     George Orwell, in his vision of 1984, got it backward.
     We do not have to fear Big Brother watching us on TV.
     In times like these, we have to fear the effects of our watching Big Brother.
             MORTIMER B. ZUCKERMAN
%1545
     I was married once, to a beautiful woman.  She drove me to drink.
     That is the one thing I am indebted to her for.
             W. C. FIELDS
%1546
     The will to perfection is absolutely the cause of so much evil.
             ROBERT CONQUEST
%1547
     Dogs are trained.  People are educated.
             KEITH RILEY
%1548
     Channeling is just bad ventriloquism.  You use another voice,
     but people can see your lips moving.
             PENN JILLETTE
%1549
     A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a
     simple system that works....A complex system designed from scratch never
     works and cannot be patched up to make it work.  You have to start over,
     beginning with a working simple system.
             GRADY BOOCH--OBJECT ORIENTED DESIGN
%1550
     A question well-asked is half answered.
             ANONYMOUS
%1551
     The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason.
     I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall.
             THOMAS PAINE, "AGE OF REASON"
%1552
     To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure;
     to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy.
             DAVID BROOKS
%1553
     I can't stand intolerant people.
             TORE ADOLFSON
%1554
     You simply MUST stop taking advice from other people.
             MELISSA TIMBERMAN
%1555
     To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as
     to be right in doing it.
             G.K. CHESTERTON
%1556
     Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
             THOMAS F. JONES, JR.
%1557
     Some tortures are physical and some are mental,
     but the one that's both is dental.
             OGDEN NASH
%1558
     Hydrogen, n.: A light, colorless, odorless gas that, given enough time,
     turns into people.
             ANONYMOUS
%1559
     Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.
             ANONYMOUS
%1560
     It's easier to listen than it is to think.
             ANDY ROONEY, ON THE POPULARITY OF TELEVISION
%1561
     On one side you have book burners, Congressional wives and Pat Robertson.
     On the other side, you have vulgar comedians, foul-mouthed rap groups and
     Dennis Hopper--all your choices should be so easy.
             SANDRA BERNHARD
%1562
     God is a verb.
             BUCKMINSTER FULLER
%1563
     The stone age was marked by man's clever use of crude tools; the
     information age, to date, has been marked by man's crude use of clever tools.
             ANONYMOUS
%1564
     Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
             LEO TOLSTOY
%1565
     Money is like muck, not good unless it be spread.
             FRANCIS BACON, "OF SEDITION AND TROUBLES"
%1566
     Nature cannot be commanded except by being obeyed.
             FRANCIS BACON, "PLAN OF THE WORKS"
%1567
     Scripture does not explain things by their secondary causes,
     but only narrates them in the order and style which has most power
     to move men, and especially uneducated men, to devotions....
     Its object is not to convince the reason, but to attract and lay hold
     of the imagination.
             SPINOZA
%1568
     Love of bustle is not industry.
             SENECA
%1569
     Minds are conquered not by arms but by greatness of soul.
             SPINOZA
%1570
     Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1571
     Among mankind money is far more persuasive than logical argument.
             EURIPEDES
%1572
     The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause
     of all our adversities.
             SOPHOCLES.
%1573
     All we know about the new economic world tells us that nations which
     train engineers will privail over those which train lawyers.  No nation
     has ever sued its way to greatness.
             RICHARD LAMM
%1574
     Contrasting this modest effort [of Seymour Cray in his laboratory to build
     the CDC 6600] with 34 people including the janitor with our vast development
     activities, I fail to understand why we have lost our industry leadership
     position by letting someone else offer the world's most powerful computer.
             THOMAS J. WATSON, IBM PRESIDENT, 1965
 
     It seems Mr. Watson has answered his own question.
             SEYMOUR CRAY
%1575
     Ignorance of the law is no defense, and since
     they'll never tell you what the law is, you're defenseless.
     Every business must pay protection money to lawyers.
             NICHOLAS VON HOFFMAN
%1576
     Most people would die sooner than think - in fact they do so.
             BERTRAND RUSSELL
%1577
     The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used
     to acquire it.
             LA ROCHEFOUCAULD
%1578
     Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
             MALCOM FORBES
%1579
     Adding engineers to a late project makes it later.
             BROOKE'S FIRST LAW
%1580
     Morality is not properly the doctorine how we may make ourselves happy,
     but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness.
             KANT
%1581
     Critics of utopia unite.  You have nothing to lose but illusions.
             E.J. DIONNE
%1582
     A society that will trade a little liberty for a little order
     will lose both, and deserve neither.
             THOMAS JEFFERSON
 
     They that can give up an essential liberty to obtain a little
     temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
             BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
%1583
     We were all guilty in letting the regime function.
             VACLAV HAVEL
%1584
     An expert is a person who avoids the small errors
     while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
             WEINBERG'S COROLLARY
%1585
     When it is not necessary to make a decision,
     it is necessary not to make a decision.
             LORD FALKLAND'S RULE
%1586
     Useless laws weaken the necessary laws.
             MONTESQUIEU
%1587
     Science can get along with talent, but art requires genius.
             WILL DURANT
%1588
     The world is a comedy for those who think but a tragedy for those who feel.
             HORACE WALPOLE
%1589
     These days an income is something you can't live without--or within.
             ZIGGY (TOM WILSON)
%1590
     Knowledge of the lowest kind is un-unified knowledge;
     science is partially-unified knowledge;
     philosophy is completely-unified knowledge.
             HERBERT W. SPENCER
%1591
     The eyes have one language everywhere.
             GEORGE HERBERT
%1592
     Remember that when you hear a horse, it might be a zebra.
             ANONYMOUS
%1593
     Two rights don't make a wrong, but three will get you back on the freeway.
             JAMES WESLEY JACKSON
%1594
     Everything has changed except our way of thinking.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1595
     I used to really adore women, but now I've decided
     they really aren't much nicer than men.
             NORMAN MAILER
%1596
     The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective
     as a rightly timed pause.
             MARK TWAIN
%1597
     Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.
             MARK TWAIN
%1598
     Love each other like brothers and sisters, and have a real good time.
             BILL GRAHAM
%1599
     The plan is nothing.  The planning is everything.
             ANONYMOUS
%1600
     Anything scarce is valuable: praise, for example!
             ANONYMOUS
%1601
     It's better to burn out than to fade away.
             NEIL YOUNG
%1602
     There are women and women, and some hold you tight
     While some leave you counting the stars in the night.
             BERNIE TAUPIN
%1603
     If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
             VINCE LOMBARDI
%1604
     Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
             LARRY NIVEN
%1605
     Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
             DAN STANFORD
%1606
     The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
             PETER F. DRUCKER
%1607
     The arm of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.
             MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
%1608
     Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
             TOM WILSON
%1609
     Change starts when someone sees the next step.
             WILLIAM DRAYTON
%1610
     At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
             PLATO
%1611
     Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people
     are right more than half of the time.
             E.B. WHITE
%1612
     The cat could very well be man's best friend
     but would never stoop to admitting it.
             DOUG LARSON
%1613
     I take a simple view of life:
     keep your eyes open and get on with it.
             LAURENCE OLIVIER
%1614
     The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.
             RICHARD BACH
%1615
     Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done.
             AL BERNSTEIN
%1616
     A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
             WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD
%1617
     What some people mistake for the high cost of living
     is really the cost of living high.
             DOUG LARSON
%1618
     Spring appears, and we are once more children.
             ANONYMOUS
%1619
     In the race for quality, there is no finish line.
             DAVID T. KEARNS
%1620
     Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.
             LADY BIRD JOHNSON
%1621
     A true friend is someone who is there for you
     when he'd rather be anywhere else.
             LEN WEIN
%1622
     Money is a good servant but a bad master.
             FRENCH PROVERB
%1623
     This summer one third of the nation will be ill-housed, ill-nourished,
     and ill-clad.  Only they call it a vacation.
             JOSEPH SALAK
%1624
     A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
     always with the same person.
             MIGNON MC LAUGHLIN
%1625
     The impersonal hand of government can never replace
     the helping hand of a neighbor.
             HUBERT H. HUMPHREY
%1626
     Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
             BILL COSBY
%1627
     A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once.
             FRANK A. CLARK
%1628
     A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
             DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER
%1629
     There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them
     than to travel with them.
             MARK TWAIN
%1630
     Make no judgements where you have no compassion.
             ANNE MC CAFFREY
%1631
     Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them
     almost anything.
             HERB GARDNER
%1632
     Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most do.
             DALE CARNEGIE
%1633
     It takes a long time to grow on an old friend.
             JOHN LEONARD
%1634
     Trust in God - but tie your camel tight.
             PERSIAN PROVERB
%1635
     If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.
             JONATHAN WINTERS
%1636
     Ideas are like rabbits.  You get a couple and learn how to handle them,
     and pretty soon you have a dozen.
             JOHN STEINBECK
%1637
     You can't act like a skunk without someone's getting wind of it.
             LORENE WORKMAN
%1638
     Until you make peace with what you are,
     you'll never be content with what you have.
             DORIS MORTMAN
%1639
     You don't have to suffer to be a poet.
     Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
             JOHN CIARDI
%1640
     Time has a wonderful way of weeding out the trivial.
             RICHARD BEN SAPIR
%1641
     Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.
             MILDRED BARTHEL
%1642
     You never know when you're making a memory.
             RICKIE LEE JONES
%1643
     We find comfort among those who agree with us--
     growth among those who don't.
             FRANK A. CLARK
%1644
     One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than 50 preaching it.
             KNUTE ROCKNE
%1645
     Cherishing children is the mark of a civilized society.
             JOAN GANZ COONEY
%1646
     A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think
     he's the only one who can save the ship.
             IVERN BALL
%1647
     Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment
     of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.
             JIM FIEBIG
%1648
     Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous;
     you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.
             MARGARET THATCHER
%1649
     Other things may change, but we start and end with family.
             ANTHONY BRANDT
%1650
     Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
             CHARLES SCHULZ
%1651
     Christmas is the day that holds time together.
             ALEXANDER SMITH
%1652
     Discoveries are often made by not following instructions,
     by going off the main road, by trying the untried.
             FRANK TYGER
%1653
     Character is what you are in the dark.
             DWIGHT MOODY, "SERMONS"
%1654
     A little government and a little luck are necessary in life,
     but only a fool trusts either of them.
             P.J. O'ROURKE
%1655
     I have learned to use the word "impossible" with the greatest caution.
             WERNER VON BRAUN
%1656
     Nothing can keep an argument going like two persons who aren't sure
     what they're arguing about.
             O.A. BATTISTA
%1657
     Each man can interpret another's experience only by his own.
             THOREAU
%1658
     Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
             THEODORE ROOSEVELT
%1659
     In marriage, being the right person is as important
     as finding the right person.
             W.D. GOUGH
%1660
     There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience.
             FRENCH PROVERB
%1661
     Don't worry about opposition.
     Remember, a kite rises against the wind, not with it.
             HAMILTON WRIGHT MABIE
%1662
     The essence of genius is to know what to overlook.
             WILLIAM JAMES
%1663
     Nothing is worth more than this day.
             GOETHE
%1664
     Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more
     difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing in the tempting place.
             BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
%1665
     So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one
     to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.
             BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
%1666
     Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.
             ANONYMOUS
%1667
     What he labels sexual, she labels harassment.
             ELLEN GOODMAN
%1668
     Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
             YOGI BERRA
%1669
     It is seldom that any liberty is lost all at once.
             DAVID HUME
%1670
     Computer models can't prove correctness, they can only prove incorrectness.
             ANONYMOUS
%1671
     The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws.
             CORNELIUS TACITUS
%1672
     In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.
             NAPOLEON
%1673
     There is more to life than increasing its speed.
             MOHANDAS K. GANDHI
%1674
     Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement
     than they have to our knowledge.
             WILL ROGERS
%1675
     Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children
     to come back home.
             BILL COSBY
%1676
     Wisdom is that quality that keeps you from getting into situations
     where you need it.
             DOUG LARSON
%1677
     Optimism is an intellectual choice
             DIANA SCHNEIDER
%1678
     You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long.
             BORIS YELTSIN
%1679
     Organic life, we are told, has developed gradually from the protozoon to
     the philosopher; and this development, we are assured, is indubitably an
     advance.  Unfortunately, it is the philosopher, not the protozoon, who
     gives us this assurance.
             BERTRAND RUSSEL
%1680
     I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, or the Roman
     church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant
     church, nor by any church that I know of.  My own mind is my own church.
             THOMAS PAINE
%1681
     We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.
             EDWARD R. MURROW
%1682
     Making fun of born-again christians is like hunting dairy cows with a
     high powered rifle and scope.
             P.J. O'ROURKE
%1683
     If the obstacles of bigotry and priestcraft can be surmounted,
     we may hope that common sense will suffice to do everything else.
             THOMAS JEFFERSON
%1684
     Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal.
     He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
     He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself
     and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.
             MARK TWAIN
%1685
     The motto ("In God We Trust") stated a lie. If this nation ever trusted in God,
     that time has gone by; for nearly half a century its entire trust has been in
     the Republican Party and the dollar - mainly the dollar.
             MARK TWAIN
%1686
     They all laughed at Albert Einstein. They all laughed at Columbus.
     Unfortunately, they also all laughed at Bozo the Clown.
             WILLIAM H. JEFFERYS
%1687
     High expectations are the key to everything.
             SAM WALTON
%1688
     One of the most dangerous forms of human error is forgetting what one
     is trying to achieve.
             PAUL NITZE
%1689
     When in doubt, duck.
             MALCOM FORBES
%1690
     There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
             STEPHEN WRIGHT
%1691
     What we must decide is how we are valuable rather than how valuable we are.
             EDGAR Z. FRIEDENBERG
%1692
     No nation was ever drunk when wine was cheap.
             THOMAS JEFFERSON
%1693
     Either God exists or He doesn't.  Either I believe in God or I don't.
     Of the four possibilities, only one is to my disadvantage.
     To avoid that possibility, I believe in god.
             PASCAL
%1694
     My atheism, like that of Spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and
     denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image to be servants of
     their human interests.
             GEORGE SANTAYANA
%1695
     If God made us in His image we have certianly returned the compliment.
             VOLTAIRE
%1696
     Happy is the person who can laugh at himself for he will never cease
     to be amused.
             ANONYMOUS
%1697
     A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs -
     jolted by every pebble in the road.
             HENRY BEECHER
%1698
     Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
             VICTOR BORGE
%1699
     Humor is such a great gift - why leave it to chance?
             JOEL GOODMAN
%1700
     You can be happy or you can be miserable - the choice is yours.
             ANONYMOUS
%1701
     It is as useless to argue with those that have renounced the use
     and authority of reason as to administer medication to the dead.
             THOMAS PAINE.
%1702
     Those who are not shocked by quantum theory do not understand it.
             NEILS BOHR
%1703
     I don't like it (Quantum Mech.), and I'm sorry I had anything to do with it.
             ERWIN SCHROEDINGER
%1704
     Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
             MARK TWAIN
%1705
     I have repeatedly said that in my opinion the idea of a personal God is
     a childlike one, but I do not share the crusading spirit of
     the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act
     of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in
     youth.  I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of
     our intellectual understanding of nature and of our own being.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1706
     Upon careful examination, Nostradamus will be found to have predicted
     EVERY significant event. However, the prediction itself cannot be
     understood, or even recognized, until after the event has occurred.
             ROBERT SHEAFFER, PAST CHAIRMAN, THE BAY AREA SKEPTICS
%1707
     Inspect every piece of pseudoscience and you will find a security blanket,
     a thumb to suck, a skirt to hold.  What have we to offer in exchange?
     Uncertainty!  Insecurity!
             ISAAC ASIMOV
%1708
     Science does not promise absolute truth, nor does it consider that such
     a thing necessarily exists.  Science does not even promise that everything
     in the Universe is amenable to the scientific process.
             ISAAC ASIMOV
%1709
     We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
             WERNHER VON BRAUN
%1710
     True greatness consists in the use of a powerful understanding to
     enlighten oneself and others.
             VOLTAIRE
%1711
     All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.
             ALEXANDRE DUMAS
%1712
     If the liberties of the American people are every destroyed,
     they will fall by the hands of the Clergy.
             GENERAL MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE, 1789
%1713
     The fires of righteous indignation may yield a pleasant feeling of warmth,
     but they don't get the food cooked.
             ROBERT MATHIESEN
%1714
     There are two infinite things: The Universe and Human Stupidity.
     But the former is not certain.
             EINSTEIN'S CALCULUS
%1715
     Stupidity is much the same all the world over.
             JOHN STUART MILL
%1716
     Every generation thinks it has the answers, and every generation is
     humbled by nature.
             PHILIP LUBIN
%1717
     Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it
     and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
             GRAUCHO MARX
%1718
     Critics quarrel with other critics. With an artist, no sane man quarrels.
             GEORGE SANTAYANA
%1719
     When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
             YOGI BERRA
%1720
     Mystical explanations are considered deep.
     The truth is that they are not even superficial.
             FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
%1721
     When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1722
     Every age and generation must be as free to act for itself,
     in all cases, as the ages and generations which preceeded it.
             THOMAS PAINE
%1723
     Let us permit nature to have her way;
     she understands her business better than we do.
             MONTAIGNE
%1724
     The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
     and the pessimist fears this is true.
             JAMES BRANCH CABELL
%1725
     Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything.
             JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH
%1726
     The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius
     has it's limits.
             ANONYMOUS
%1727
     Each of us visits this Earth involuntarily, and without an invitation.
     For me, it is enough to wonder at the secrets.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1728
     The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter,
     taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans
     are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected
     and prove it.
             P.J. O'ROURKE
%1729
     Conservative (n.) - A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as
     distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
             AMBROCE BIERCE
%1730
     Liberalism is trust of the people, tempered by prudence;
     conservatism, distrust of people, tempered by fear.
             WILLIAM GLADSTONE
%1731
     [W]e shall continue to have a worsening ecologic crisis until
     we reject the Christian axiom that nature has no reason for
     existence save to serve man.
             LYNN WHITE, JR.
%1732
     The value of the average conversation could be enormously improved by the
     constant use of four simple words: "I do not know."
             ANDRE MAUROIS
%1733
     Experience is a hard teacher.
     She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
             ANONYMOUS
%1734
     When a man assumes a public trust,
     he should consider himself as public property.
             THOMAS JEFFERSON
%1735
     We do not remember days; we remember moments.
             CAESARE PAVESE, "THE BURNING BRAND"
%1736
     Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self-solicitude is
     the enemy of well-being.
             JOHN UPDIKE
%1737
     You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
             BEVERLY SILLS
%1738
     Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
             JAMES STEPHENS
%1739
     I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.
             EDITH SITWELL
%1740
     Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of
     youth for those of age.
             AMBROSE BIERCE
%1741
     Statistics are like bikinis: what they show is important, but what they
     hide is vital.
             ANONYMOUS
%1742
     It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.  People are either charming
     or tedious.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1743
     I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent
     less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her
     sweetness and respecting her seniority.
             E.B. WHITE
%1744
     It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes.  It takes more gut and
     gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own.
             JESSAMYN WEST
%1745
     When two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.
             EAST AFRICAN PROVERB
%1746
     It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
             MARK TWAIN
%1747
     A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism,
     but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion.
             FRANCIS BACON
%1748
     What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
             RALPH WALSO EMERSON
%1749
     We have too many high-sounding words, and too few actions that
     correspond with them.
             ABIGAIL ADAMS
%1750
     The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
             MAUGHAM
%1751
     Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty--power is ever stealing from the
     many to the few.
             WENDELL PHILLIPS
%1752
     Crash programs fail because they are based on the premise that,
     with nine women pregnant, you'll get a baby in a month.
             WERNER VON BRAUN
%1753
     It is because the people are civilized, that they are with safety armed.
             JOEL BARLOW
%1754
     The tree of liberty must be watered periodically with the blood of
     tyrants and patriots alike. It is its natural manure.
             THOMAS JEFFERSON
%1755
     Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening.
             FRANK TYGER
%1756
     A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1757
     A hero is no braver than anyone else; he is only brave five minutes longer.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1758
     Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone.
             G.B. STEIN
%1759
     If only God would give me a clear sign! Like making a large deposit
     in my name at a Swiss bank.
             WOODY ALLEN
%1760
     Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
             CLAUDE PEPPER
%1761
     Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes.
     There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.
             HENRY KISSINGER
%1762
     All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
             SAMUEL BUTLER
%1763
     There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1764
     Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1765
     A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1766
     History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
             WINSTON CHURCHILL
%1767
     As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
             HENRY DAVID THOREAU
%1768
     A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension.
             OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
%1769
     Poetry begins in delight and ends in wisdom.
             ROBERT FROST
%1770
     Childhood:  The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of
     infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood and
     three from the remorse of age.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1771
     I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
             ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT
%1772
     When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never
     tried before.
             MAE WEST
%1773
     An executive is a person who always decides;
     sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides.
             JOHN H. PATTERSON
%1774
     Education:  That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish
     their lack of understanding.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1775
     Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
             BEN FRANKLIN
%1776
     An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me.
             AMBROSE BIERCE
%1777
     Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
             ANONYMOUS
%1778
     A man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1779
     What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.
             BENJAMIN DISRAELI
%1780
     If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable
     must Man be of learning from experience.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1781
     Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
             VICTOR BORGE
%1782
     If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit
     of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.
             HERODOTUS
%1783
     A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can.
             MONTAIGNE
%1784
     Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.
             CONFUCIUS
%1785
     Legend --- a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
             H. L. MENCKEN
%1786
     I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
             WOODY ALLEN
%1787
     Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on
     a rainy Sunday afternoon.
             SUSAN ERTZ
%1788
     Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
             GEORGE BURNS
%1789
     By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually hasa
     a son who thinks he's wrong.
             CHARLES WADSWORTH
%1790
     There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.
             ARISTOTLE
%1791
     Logic:  The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with
     the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1792
     Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
             THOMAS DEWAR
%1793
     The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many
     accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more.
             ED PARKER
%1794
     Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an
     international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1795
     Some minds are like concrete - all mixed up and permanently set.
             ANONYMOUS
%1796
     Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you
     do not entertain.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1797
     We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but
     Congress can.
             CULLEN HIGHTOWER
%1798
     Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
             ARTHUR C. CLARKE
%1799
     I don't make jokes.  I just watch the government and report the facts.
             WILL ROGERS
%1800
     Our elections are free --- it's in the results where eventually we pay.
             BILL STERN
%1801
     By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely
     overwhelm me.
             ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT
%1802
     Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired
     book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.  One who
     follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with
     a life of sin.
             AMBROSE BIERCE, "THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY"
%1803
     An apology for the devil:it must be remembered that we have heard one side
     of the case.  God has written all the books.
             SAMUEL BUTLER
%1804
     My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
     spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
     with our frail and feeble mind.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1805
     Mathematicians are like Frenchmen:  whatever you say to them they translate
     into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
             GOETHE
%1806
     The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a
     torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an
     oracle, is inborn in us.
             PAUL VALE'RY, 1895
%1807
     Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.
             RICHARD BACH
%1808
     Do, or do not.  There is no try.
             YODA
%1809
     The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite
     of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
             NIELS BOHR
%1810
     The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is
     comprehensible.
             ALBERT EINSTEIN
%1811
     Natural laws have not pity.
             ANONYMOUS
%1812
     Three may keep a secret, if two are dead.
             BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
%1813
     We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1814
     If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
             ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT
%1815
     Man tends to root for the underdog, because he fears that he will find
     himself in that same position far too often.
             MICHAEL S. ROSENBERG
%1816
     Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity.
     They seem more afraid of life than death.
             JAMES F. BYRNES
%1817
     Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity.
             CHARLES G. DAWES
%1818
     No one ever listened himself out of a job.
             CALVIN COOLIDGE
%1819
     Few people are successful unless a lot of other people want them to be.
             CHARLES BROWER
%1820
     We have deep depth.
             YOGI BERRA
%1821
     We made too many wrong mistakes.
             YOGI BERRA
%1822
     All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
             CASEY STENGEL
%1823
     A halo has to fall only a few inches to become a noose.
             FARMERS ALMANAC
%1824
     To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
             BESS MYERSON
%1825
     The road uphill and the road downhill are one and the same.
             HERACLITUS
%1826
     There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when
     they no longer love each other.
             FRANCOIS, DUC DE LA ROUCHEFOUCALD
%1827
     The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
             ALEXANDER PENNEY
%1828
     Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
              HANNAH ARENDT
%1829
     Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but
     among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
             W.H. AUDEN
%1830
     Many a man's tounge broke his nose.
             SEUMAS MACMANUS
%1831
     The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion.
     I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of
     Christian dogma.
             ABRAHAM LINCOLN
%1832
     The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on
     the Christian religion.
             GEORGE WASHINGTON
%1833
     It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
             BILL CLINTON
%1834
     The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises
     in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral
     justification for selfishness.
             JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH
%1835
     Conservatives are not necessarily stupid,
     but most stupid people are conservatives.
             JOHN STUART MILL
%1836
     Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our
     inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter
     the state of facts and evidence
             JOHN ADAMS
%1837
     Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
             THE KNIGHTS WHO SO RECENTLY SAID "NEE!"
%1838
     For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.
     Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great
     number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will
     turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.
             2 TIMOTHY 4:3-4
%1839
     Revenge is a dish which people of taste serve cold.
             SICILIAN (OR KLINGON) PROVERB
%1840
     Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel
     and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more
     than half the bible is filled, it would seem more consistent that we called
     it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness
     that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind.
             THOMAS PAINE
%1841
     Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
             GEORGE SANTAYANA
%1842
     Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions.  All life is an
     experiment.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1843
     I wanted to change the world.  But I have found that the only thing
     one can be sure of changing is oneself.
             ALDOUS HUXLEY
%1844
     Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.
             SIGMUND FREUD
%1845
     I know but one freedom, and that is the freedom of the mind.
             ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY
%1846
     Men do not desire to be rich, but to be richer than other men.
             JOHN STUART MILL
%1847
     Love cures people--both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
             KARL MENNINGER
%1848
     It matters if you don't just give up.
             STEPHEN HAWKING
%1849
     It's better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same.
             SIR PHILIP GIBBS
%1850
     I am convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal
     second base than an automobile
             TOM C. CLARK
%1851
     No one goes there anymore -- it's too crowded.
             YOGI BERRA
%1852
     The best proof of love is trust.
             DR. JOYCE BROTHERS
%1853
     You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether
     what you're doing is work or play.
             WARREN BEATTY
%1854
     The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion.
             ARAB PROVERB
%1855
     Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
             ANONYMOUS
%1856
     In waking a tiger, use a long stick.
             MAO TSE-TUNG
%1857
     There are two tragedies in life.  One is to lose your heart's desire.
     The other is to gain it.
             GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
%1858
     Most people are other people.  Their thoughts are someone else's
     opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
             OSCAR WILDE
%1859
     The trouble with our age is it's all signposts and no destination.
             LOIUS KRONENBERGER
%1860
     The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
     constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
     appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
     statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant.  This
     also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
             FORTRAN MANUAL FOR XEROX COMPUTERS
%1861
     A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored
     by little statesman and philosophers and divines.
             RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1862
     Sooner or later, you've heard about all that your best friends have to say.
     Then comes the tolerance of real love.
             NED ROREM
%1863
     We shall always keep a spare corner in our heads
     to give passing hospitality to our friends' opinions.
             JOSEPH JOUBERT
%1864
     People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
             BOB HOPE
%1865
     The man who believes he can do it is probably right.
             HELVETIUS
%1866
     A word to the wise is unnecessary.
             LA ROUCHEFOUCAULD
%1867
     A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.
             EDGAR J. MOHN
%1868
     The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another.
     The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.
             HENRY VAN DYKE
%1869
     Fable is more historical than fact, because fact tells us about one man
     and fable tells us about a million men.
             G.K. CHESTERTON
%1870
     There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the
     mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions
     of an audience not practiced in the tricks and illusions of oratory.
             MARK TWAIN
%1871
     Politicians say they're beefing up our economy.
     Most don't know beef from pork.
             HAROLD LOWMAN
%1872
     It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
             EDMUND HILLARY
%1873
     Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.
             CULLEN HIGHTOWER
%1874
     In the long run, men only hit what they aim at.
             HENRY DAVID THOREAU
%1875
     We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.
              EDUARDO GALEANO
%1876
     There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.
              JACOB BRAUDE
%1877
     Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead
     of using it
              GORDON R. DICKSON
%1878
     Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own.
     You may both be wrong.
              DANDEMIS
%1879
     The man who does not read good books is at no advantage over the man that
     can't read them.
              MARK TWAIN
%1880
     This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher
     must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.
              BERTRAND RUSSELL
%1881
     There are three ways to get something done:
     1) Do it yourself
     2) Hire someone to do it for you
     3) Forbid you kids from doing it
              ANONYMOUS
%1882
     When men lack a sense of awe, there will be disaster.
              LAO TSE, TAO TE CHING: 72
%1883
     God created sex.  Priests created marriage.
              VOLTAIRE
%1884
     Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
              RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1885
     When choosing between two evils,
     I always like to try the one
     I've never tried before.
              MAE WEST
%1886
     As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle
     a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.
              C. G. JUNG
%1887
     Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.
              ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
%1888
     I have tried too in my time to be a philosopher;
     but I don't know how, cheerfulness was always breaking in.
              OLIVER EDWARDS
%1889
     If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due
     to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this
     you have the power to revoke at any moment.
              MARCUS AURELIUS
%1890
     Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet.
              FRENCH PROVERB
%1891
     The proverb warns that "You should not bite the hand that feeds you."
     But maybe you should if it prevents you from feeding yourself.
              THOMAS SZASZ
%1892
     Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as
     one goes on.
              SAMUEL BUTLER
%1893
     Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem.
     (Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity.)
              OCCAM'S RAZOR
%1894
     If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so
     simple we couldn't.
              LYALL WATSON
%1895
     The mountain remains unmoved at seeming defeat by the mist.
              RABINDRANATH TAGORE
%1896
     In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and
     often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows
     which of those is the more annoying.
              BERTRAND RUSSELL
%1897
     You always pass failure on your way to success.
              MICKEY ROONEY
%1898
     America wasn't founded so that we could all be better.  America was
     founded so we could all be anything we damn well please.
              P.J. O'ROURKE
%1899
     Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past
     and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
              ART BUCHWALD
%1900
     The only way to have a friend is to be one.
              RALPH WALDO EMERSON
%1901
     Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit ther
              WILL ROGERS
%1902
     How should one deal with a man who is convinced that he is acting
     according to God's will, and who therefore believes that he is
     doing you a favour by stabbing you in the back?
              VOLTAIRE
%1903
     The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you
     are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.
              BERTRAND RUSSEL
%1904
     Unfalsifiable propositions are not amenable to any method at all.
     If there were, then religions would be able to find a way to resolve
     internal conflicts over differing versions of their unfalsifiables
     without resorting to schism, excommunication, torture, or jihad.
     In science, however, there are no permanent schisms, because there
     is a recognized final court of appeal, namely the universe itself.
              ANONYMOUS
%1905
     The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth,
     and have it found out by accident.
              CHARLES LAMB
%1906
     One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are
     those who will have sought and found how to serve.
              ALBERT SCHWEITZER
%1907
     No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
              AESOP
%1908
     Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.
              ANNA FREUD
%1909
     Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
              HENRY WARD BEECHER
%1910
     Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new
     bureaucracy.
              FRANZ KAFKA
%1911
     Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
              AMBROSE BIERCE: THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY
%1912
     When a man is single, he's incomplete; but when a man gets married, he's
     finished.
              ANONYMOUS
%1913
     There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures
     early in life.
              THOMAS HUXLEY
%1914
     Chivilization is a method of living, an attitude of equal respect
     for all men.
              JANE ADDAMS
%1915
     Every guilty person is his own hangman.
              SENECA
%1916
     A man's silence is wonderful to listen to.
              THOMAS HARDY
%1917
     If a man has done his best, what else is there?
              GEORGE PATTON
%1918
     Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right.
              HENRY FORD
%1919
     For the skeptic there remains only one consolation: if there should be such
     a thing as superhuman law it is administered with subhuman inefficiency.
              ERIC AMBLER
%1920
     The average man who does not know what to do with his
     life, wants another one which will last forever.
              ANATOLE FRANCE
%1921
     There is no such whetstone, to sharpen a good wit and encourage
     a will to learning, as is praise.
              ROGER ASCHAM




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